Articles

How Well Do You Know Your Partner?

One of the most important elements of love in an emotionally committed relationship is “knowing your partner”. As we navigate the various stages of love, how we know each other takes on a greater and greater significance.When we are dating and courting, our brains are filled with “love hormones” (chemicals like dopamine, adrenaline and serotonin, in the initial attraction phase), and our pleasure centres are firing on all cylinders.

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Pro-Relationship vs Pro-Self: Why Working Towards Mutuality Creates Safety & Security as a Couple.

It is not uncommon for couples to think that taking care of themselves as individuals will be good for the relationship. The focus is often on thinking only about yourself, your feelings, your needs, and your desires. It is important to do what we can do to be in the best health physically, emotionally and spiritually so that we can “be there” for our partners as much as possible. But being Pro-Self usually means that our needs, our desires, and our priorities come first. If that’s so, how can we start creating safety and security as a couple? The answer is simple. The relationship must come first.

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Walking on Egshells

When we ask couples to tell us what they value most in a relationship, they often say “honesty!” They want their partners to be truthful, to be open about what they feel, to reveal more of themselves. So you would think that they would want their partners to say just what’s on their minds. Not so. In reality, many people expect a certain kind of honesty and intimacy –- the kind they can handle! They want to hear things that make them feel validated, give them a sense of acceptance and approval. In general, they want to hear what makes them feel good.

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To Have and To Hold - Why Taking Care of Your Partner Will Take Care of You

Remember those heady days when you knew you were really meant for each other? What dreams did your share about the life you would create? 

If you pledged “to have and to hold”, what did it mean to you then, and does it have the same meaning for you now? Couples get together for many reasons. They typically say, “we felt like soul mates … our attraction was magnetic ... we love children and wanted to have a big family… we had the same professional goals”. There is little talk about laying a foundation that will ensure a closely connected partnership throughout their lives.

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Overcoming The Fear of Intimacy


Even if you want to feel more closely connected, you may find it difficult revealing yourself to your partner. You may be afraid to speak up and let your feelings be known for fear of hurting his or her feelings. Or you may fear a lack of acceptance or approval from you partner.

If you don’t express yourself openly, you may succeed in keeping your relationship on an even keel, but it can come at a personal cost.

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Disney Friends
How Well Do You Know Your Partner?
One of the most important elements of love in an emotionally committed relationship is “knowing your partner”. As we navigate the ...
Pro-Relationship vs Pro-Self: Why Working Towards Mutuality Creates Safety & Security as a Couple.
It is not uncommon for couples to think that taking care of themselves as individuals will be good for the relationship. The focus is often ...
Walking on Egshells
When we ask couples to tell us what they value most in a relationship, they often say “honesty!” They want their partners to be ...

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