A natural setting for enriching lives
Homes of Hockley
CONSTANCE SCRAFIELD-DANBY, Special to The Banner
The idea of using a perfectly
beautiful setting in Hockley Valley to entertain guests or open a
home to city-tired folk has been tried with some success by various
people in the valley.
It is a natural, with Hockley being so very pretty all times of year,
with an abundance of wildlife and many properties including enough
acreage to allow for exercise. Sell a property in the city, find a
home with ambiance here, spend a small fortune renovating and adding
bathrooms, and voila: an ideal spot for the weekend getaway.
It has been tried and worked. When Louise Dorfman and her husband,
David Rubenstein, decided to make the leap from Toronto to Hockley
Valley, they brought some additional ideas along with them, among
them marriage counselling.
They have been married for 30 years, with one son, Daniel, who is 19
and pursuing his studies at University of Toronto on a scholarship.
Louise and David have been in business together before, running a
restaurant for 12 years in central Toronto. David has also been a
relationship counsellor and when they had had enough of the
restaurant business went back to school to get his MA in counselling
psychology. Louise was working as a career counsellor. One day, David
asked Louise to go back into business with him running a counselling
retreat for couples. And she agreed.
"We already know that we work well together," they said. "So, we were
sure this would work out that way." The home they found, deep in the
Hockley Valley, was built by an engineer and his wife in the
mid-1980s. They lived in it for more than 18 years, raising their
children. By the time they were ready to sell it to David and Louise,
it was far too big for them. The house is made with soaring ceilings
and an interesting combination of materials --wood, brick, cement,
towering windows. Everywhere there are pleasant and interesting
places for the eye to rest. There are fireplaces, solariums, glass
walls, cozy corners.
The original and only other owner planted some 10,000 trees of many
varieties. The trees attract deer and other animals which delight
their visitors as well as themselves. The trees likewise encourage
their guests to explore, go snowshoeing in the winter and walking in
the warmer months. The house is clearly two floors, dividing very
easily into two living areas.
Upstairs is quite spacious and elegant with a fireplace that opens on
both sides to the dining and living areas. David and Louise each have
an office.
Downstairs where they welcome guests, there is no hint of its being a
lower floor. There are plenty of windows and light and the area is
warm and inviting. One room is where they sit to counsel their
clients. They offer a three-day package that includes accommodation,
gorgeous breakfasts, hours of talking and free time.
The breakfast that has guests filling pages with praise in their
guest book is served in the dining solarium, while a woodstove
creates a pleasant heat in the lounge.
They commented that they love the work they do: bringing enrichment
to the lives of couples. People come to them who have come to a
crossroads in their marriage, who have stopped talking to each other,
who feel there should be more to their marriage. They work with
couples as a couple in a peaceful, reflective setting.
"So much counselling is done once a week, for an hour," Louise points
out. "Here the effort to help people is concentrated and focussed.
Couples can be together with no distractions."
"Things can really happen in two or three days," says David. "And
part of the package is a follow-up call six months later to see how
everything is going." Explaining part of their theories, he said, "We
don't try to say there's something wrong. People ask us, 'Are we
normal?' It is important to work as a couple. People need to hear
each other whether they like what they hear or not. Relationships
push [people to grow]…"
Even couples who believe their marriage is in good shape come to the
retreat for "enrichment," to make what they have even better. People
come to them from all over North America. When their counselling
skills are not required, they run their establishment as a simple bed
and breakfast for anyone wanting a few days away. They are impressed
with the community of bed and breakfast owners in the area, who
cheerfully recommend each other when their own rooms are full.
A leap of faith that is paying off. A life that combines the total
learning of a lifetime. Work that is fulfilling and helpful. "We love
our work and we love living up here. We want our clients to discover
the treasures in each other."