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Feature Articles from
Past Issues:
The
Passionate "I"
Love
from the Inside
Out
The
Passionate "I":
Love
from the Inside
Out
Why
does love and passion
often fade in long-term
relationships?
We believe and expect
that the excitement of
early romance, discovery
and openness will
continue indefinitely --
simply because we have
made a commitment to be
together. This sounds
like wishful
thinking.
Long-term relationships
challenge our capacities
to maintain the vitality
and energy of love. But
that vitality and energy
must come first and
foremost from within
ourselves. If we expect
that it will always come
from our partners, then
we are going to be
disillusioned before
long.
Keeping love and passion
alive in long-term
relationships is a
function of our maturity
and level of personal
development. It has to
do with deepening our
capacity to love, and
our ability to tolerate
the pain of loving.
Relationships grow and
evolve as each of us
grows and evolves. The
more we develop
ourselves as
individuals, the less
energy we spend on
blaming each other,
dominating, being
submissive, or
withdrawing physically
or emotionally from each
other.
Maintaining
love and passion in our
intimate relationships
requires us to take
seriously our own
personal growth and
development. We keep
relationships alive by
keeping ourselves alive.
How can we accomplish
this?
- by
being passionate in
the way we express
ourselves i.e.
honestly, openly, and
with integrity -- not
selling ourselves
short
- by
having the courage to
confront ourselves
when we don't speak
from our hearts -- or
from the "best" in
us
- by
taking risks to
reveal ourselves --
with no guarantee
that what we say or
do will be
understood, accepted
or
validated
- by
doing something out
of the ordinary,
something we may have
previously ruled out
as too scary,
difficult or
vulnerable
- by
tolerating the
anxiety that we feel
when we hear our
partners speaking
their own
truths
- and,
by re-energizing
ourselves through
things we love to
do.
Passion
comes from being
emotionally open, and
allowing our partners to
be the same. If we want
to have passionate
relationships, we need
to be
passionate.
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Toronto office (45 Sheppard Avenue East,
North York, ON; easily accessible by
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In
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ON)
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Mailing Address:
Couple Enrichment Inc.
P.O. Box 431
75 First Street
Orangeville, ON L9W 5B6
Canada
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