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2. How do you define "love"?
We
share Erich
Fromm's
view that love is "the only passion which
satisfies man's need to unite himself with the
world, and to acquire at the same time a sense
of integrity and individuality". ("The Art
of Loving")
Like Fromm, we view love as an activity that
needs to be learned, practised and mastered over
the course of a lifetime. It is an inner faculty
or an orientation to life that one develops over
time.
Love, like other art forms, such as learning to
play a musical instrument, requires knowledge of
theory, daily practice to perfect ones' skills
and a commitment to the mastery of the art form.
We develop our capacity to love by actively
doing love, not by passively waiting
to receive love, or looking for love
outside ourselves. Back
to Top
3. How do you view
relationships?
We
view relationships as an opportunity for each
partner to develop the capacity to love to his
or her fullest potential.
Relationships fulfil our most powerful striving
- the desire for interpersonal connectedness -
the desire to overcome our feelings of
separateness and allow us to leave the prison of
our aloneness.
Relationships are built every day, day by day,
through a steadfast commitment to shared values.
In our counselling sessions and workshops, we
introduce our clients to several
relationship-building skills, which we feel are
essential to building a loving
orientation. Back
to Top
4. There are so many relationship models out
there, what makes
yours different?
Many
models offer valuable advice. Some subscribe to
a "how to" format, offering pat formulae or
solutions that promise instant change. Others
focus on concrete skills, such as communication,
active listening, conflict resolution and
negotiation strategies.
Ours is a value-based approach, with the goal of
helping couples become more loving in their
everyday life. Our model focuses on
self-awareness. We feel it is necessary to
become more conscious about how we feel, think
and act, before we begin learning new
relationship skills.
We discuss the importance of shared values with
our clients. We encourage them to express their
individuality, while deepening the connection
with their partners. We create a safe
environment where they can learn to be open,
honest and direct with each other. And we teach
them new skills and attitudes that are essential
to developing a loving
orientation. Back
to Top
5. What is emotional separateness?
Emotional
separateness is the ability to hold onto your
own emotions without taking on the emotions of
your partner, i.e. without reacting to his or
her fear, anger or frustration. Easier said than
done. First you need to recognize that your
feelings are independent of your partner's, and
then you need to practice avoiding letting your
partner's moods, anxieties or reactions
change your emotional state. As you begin
to feel calmer, and have more control over your
own reactivity, you will have the opportunity to
experience a deeper connection with your
partner. Back
to Top
6. What
do you mean by a "positive learning
environment"?
Our
therapy does not focus on looking at what's
"wrong" in a relationship, i.e. the deficits of
either partner. The therapeutic process creates
an opportunity for raising self-awareness that
leads to self-confrontation.. We encourage our
clients to think critically about commonly held
illusions regarding love and relationships. We
encourage them to express their innermost
thoughts and feelings, and help them tap
into their inherent capacities to
love. Back
to Top
7. What is different about your approach to
Counselling? Resolving
common relationship issues is often approached
from the standpoint of seeing what's wrong or
what's missing in a relationship, rather than
seeing where each partner is at in his/her
personal development - at a particular moment in
time, and in the context of the relationship. We
show couples who focus on what is "wrong"
with their relationships that they are looking
for answers where they cannot be found. In fact,
there is no "relationship problem". The
problem, if you can call it that, lies within
each of us as an individual. The solution,
therefore, comes with our own personal
awareness and efforts to change - not by
focusing on the behaviours of our
partner. Back
to Top
8. Does The
Couple Enrichment
Approach™
benefit all couples, regardless of
age?
Couples
grapple with different issues at various life
stages. The
Couple Enrichment Approach™
encourages lifelong learning and is therefore
beneficial for couples of all
ages. Back
to Top
9. Do you work with non-married couples as
well as married couples?
Yes.
We also offer workshops for singles who want to
understand themselves more deeply in the context
of developing meaningful
relationships. Back
to Top
10. Would your program benefit pre-marital
couples and newlyweds?
By
learning the concepts of The
Couple
Enrichment
Approach™,
pre-marital couples and newlyweds have the
advantage of finding out, early in the
relationship, what values they have in common.
They learn to dispel illusions about themselves,
and of each other, decreasing the likelihood of
false expectations and inevitable
disappointments later in life. They develop
practical skills and gain valuable knowledge to
deal with life's issues and
challenges. Back
to Top
10.
What is the secret of your own personal success
as a couple?
We
encourage each other to grow as individuals. We
both strive to live to our fullest potential,
appreciating the gifts that our relationship
brings us. Everyday is an opportunity to express
our love for each other, to work together to
achieve common goals, to laugh about life's
ironies, and to keep the warmth and passion
between us alive and ongoing. Back
to Top
Read
Past Articles
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Two
Counselling Locations serving the GTA:
Toronto office (45 Sheppard Avenue East, North
York, ON; easily accessible by subway or by car;
east of Yonge Street, just above Highway 401).
In
Hockley Valley, Mono Township (Hwy 9 and Airport
Road, just east of Orangeville,
ON)
______________________________________________
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Mailing Address:
Couple Enrichment Inc.
P.O. Box 431
75 First Street
Orangeville, ON L9W 5B6
Canada
Contact
us by
email
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Telephone:
Main Line (Toll Free):
1-877-897-2333
Toronto office:
416-229-1477 ext 238
Orangeville/Mono office:
519-942-3338
Fax:
519-942-3305
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Back
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©
Copyright 2000-2004 Couple Enrichment
Inc.
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